“Do you know what you want?” Jules asked.
“Yep. I want a hot dog with everything on it,” I said.
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
“You’re sure?”
Looking at her out of the corner of my eye, I said, “I’m sure.”
Why do I feel like this is going to turn out weird?
After waiting a few minutes for my hot dog, the teenage girl at the baseball park concession counter handed me a hot dog loaded with chili, ketchup, and coleslaw.
“What’s this?” I asked Jules.
“It’s what you ordered. A hot dog with everything.”
“This has coleslaw on it.”
“Yeah, you said everything.”
“The fuck?”
“Baby, you said everything.”
“Yeah, like chili, cheese, ketchup, mustard… maybe some onions. Everything.”
“You’re in West Virginia now,” she reminded me. “This is a hot dog with everything.”
That was a year ago. Today, I still can’t get used to coleslaw on my hot dog. It’s not bad. I might even say it’s pretty damn good, but it’s still strange to me. I’d prefer a chili cheese dog or a Chicago dog or even a Colombian-style dog with pineapple sauce, cheese, and crushed potato chips. But, you know what, I consider myself a West Virginian now—a Mountaineer—so go ahead and put coleslaw on my hot dog.
That’s a relationship I’m still trying to understand. You know what does go well together? Hot dogs in your mac & cheese. Love it! You know what else?
A kickass collaboration between yours truly and Lucas Mangum. Yes, that special project I’ve been talking about lately. You know, the one I’ve been talking about doing with another author? Well, I spilled the beans the other day on Facebook. Lucas and I are mixing our sinister worlds. My old-school evil organization is going to have a run-in with his more modern digital dark one in… wait for it… this is fucking brilliant, so give me a second… okay…
Diablo Snuff Vs. Gods of the Dark Web
Yeah, baby!
Okay, so we don’t have a release date and we haven’t chosen a cover, but we’ve begun working on the book, and I promise this one will be wild. It’s the perfect time for this, too, because Lucas just released his new novel, Digital Darkness, where he’s combined his three novellas to make one big book.
So, if you haven’t read his series, you can start with Gods of the Dark Web, which you’ll find by clicking on the picture of the cover here:
Then pick up his new book, Digital Darkness, which you’ll find by clicking on the picture of the cover here:
If you haven’t read my Diablo Snuff series, the books were published in the following order, from left to right, but really can be read in any order as long as The Maddening is read last. Each one has a totally different storyline but all involve Diablo Snuff. If you click on the image, it’ll take you straight to my author page on Amazon, where you’ll find all these books.
So, this year I’m working on my first two collaborations. This book with Lucas and my book with Jules on the romance side of things. It’s an exciting year.
What else is going on?
I’m trying to finish this newsletter up and get it out to you all on the 13th of July. If I succeed, that would mean tomorrow, the 14th, I’m going in for sinus surgery at the VA. It’s part of the process of finding out what’s causing my migraines. I’m sure it’s mostly due to issues with spinal stenosis and arthritis at the top of my spine because most of my headaches come on when I look at a downward angle for too long. That kind of sucks when you’re an author and spend as much time as I do at a laptop. I do use a raised desk to help ease some of the tension and prevent pain from setting in but still, you don’t realize how often you look down at your computer or phone until you get instant migraines from doing so.
I spent a couple of days in bed last week because my neck and shoulders hurt so bad and my head was throbbing. I’ve had an ablation at the spot in my neck where it seems like the pain is coming from and that didn’t help, so my doctor sent me to an ENT specialist who found that I do have a sinus infection that’s been going on for a long time. For over a year now at least. I don’t think this operation will do much, but some of my headaches do feel like they could be caused by sinus pressure, so maybe it’ll help.
Yesterday, we were in the car when Jules told me that one of our friends asked if I was nervous about the surgery. She told her, “Nah, he’s fine. I mean they’re just going to be breaking the little plates in his face, under his left eye, deep down in his cheek, but they’re like eggshells so it’s not that bad. And they might have to go in and do some rearranging of stuff in his forehead.”
I’m listening to all this and thinking, Shit. I forgot they were doing all that.
I remembered the doctor mentioning cleaning out the little ducts and putting in some kind of balloon thing and something about some eggshells, but I didn’t want to focus on all that. Now that I think about it, that shit sounds painful! I know they’ll be knocking me out, and I know I can’t eat anything after midnight tonight like I’m a fuckin’ gremlin or something but other than that, I never focus too much on the details of surgeries because it’s not like I can change anything anyway. I’ll go in, go to sleep, wake up, and deal with whatever recovery pain comes with it if any.
Just thought I’d share it with you all because you’re my people and that’s what I do.
What’s on TV?
That time spent in bed I told you about? Jules talked me into watching The Handmaid’s Tale. And I have to admit I’m hooked. I’m now on the last episode of season 2. She’s probably regretting it though after our situation at Sam’s Club when she had to pee really bad and I followed her to the bathroom calling her Of Chris.
“Of Chris, come back here! Of Chris, wait! Of Chris, where are you going?”
She was laughing and saying, “I can’t stop. I have to pee.”
So, I followed it with, “Everyone make way. Make way! Of Chris is with child! Of Chris is with child!”
She’s not with child. I should probably mention that right away. It was funnier in person. I promise. We laughed and laughed. Well, I laughed and laughed. Hey, she got me back. She calls me Of Jules too. And let’s not forget this is the same person who tried to stick a shampoo bottle up my ass. (Go read the last issue of my newsletter if you missed it)
If you have no idea what that joke is about, in the show The Handmaid’s Tale, the Handmaids have to report to their Commander. The Commander runs the household and the handmaids are named after him. So if his name is Jeffrey and her name was once Lisa. In this dystopian world, because she belongs to this guy now, her name is now Of Jeffrey and she’s never to be called Lisa again.
We were also hooked on The Time Traveler’s Wife. The movie is excellent and the show on HBO Max is phenomenal. It’s definitely worth watching. I was so bummed to find out they’re not renewing it for a second season. I think it’s still worth watching the first season. It’s that good.
Also, I’m finally watching The Boys. That one I have to watch alone when Jules falls asleep. She’s not into it. I think it’s great, and I love that Anthony Starr, the guy who plays Homelander in The Boys has finally landed a great role after not doing much since Banshee. If you haven’t watched the Cinemax show, Banshee, which I believe is on Hulu now, you should definitely check it out. It’s awesome. It’s full of the graphic sex and violence you’d expect from a Cinemax show. It’s just a wild ride. It has some of the coolest villains of any show out there. I highly recommend it.
What am I reading?
I finished Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles. That was a weird book, man. I’m still trying to process it. I love Bradbury. He’s one of my favorites. Some of the chapters of that book I loved and some I wanted to skim through. I’m glad I read it though. It was great overall.
I went back to my wheel app to find out which paperback I need to read next and it landed on James Newman’s Midnight Rain. So that’s my new read. I’m also working my way through King’s Night Shift. I’ve always wanted to read it, and I’ve admitted many times I haven’t read much of King’s work. So, I’m doing it now. Slowly.
In audiobook, I finished Ronald Kelly’s Fear and absolutely loved it and now I’m listening to Brian Keene’s City of the Dead and I’m loving every second of it. I need to find the list/reading order of his books I need to read before reading his new ones about The Seven. I love how all his books tie together. I kind of did that with my Diablo Snuff series, but not nearly at the level he has. I still plan to slowly build onto my DS world though.
Other news?
In other news, something else I started today is a new Tiktok show/segment/whateverthefuckyouwannacallit that I call First Paragraphs Foreplay Horror Edition. In it, I’m going to read the first paragraphs – and I have that plural because a lot of authors, including myself, oftentimes use very short paragraphs and one paragraph would be extremely short – of horror authors’ books.
I think it’ll be a fun way to spread some horror-book love on TikTok. I already have my First Chapter Freakshow thing going on over at YouTube and with that, I pretty much invite any author with a book in any format (as long as it’s available for purchase) to put their book on the list for me to read and introduce to viewers/readers.
With this new TikTok thingamajig, I think I’m going to stick with paperbacks I have here at the house because I need to be able to hold the book up and show it to the viewers over the small phone screen. Kindle screens don’t show up as well like that. With all the books I’ve picked up at conventions and signed copies I’ve ordered from authors plus trades I’ve done with author friends, I think I have enough to keep it going for a little while. I’m excited about it. It should be fun. Hopefully, the authors will be cool with it. I’ll reach out to them first.
Podcasts and Interviews
I’ve been on a few podcasts recently. As the hosts post them, I’ll put the links here in the newsletters for you to easily find them. As of right now, I don’t think any of the ones I’ve done lately have gone up.
If anyone out there has a podcast and is looking for guests, hit me up. I enjoy chatting with people. Reach out to me at carverpike@gmail.com or on any of my social media accounts.
First Chapter Freakshow Episodes
If you haven’t watched my YouTube show before, I like to read the beginning of my horror author friends’ books. If you like what you hear, hopefully, you’ll pick up a copy of the book and check out all the rest of their work. It’s just a way for you to meet authors you may not know already and for authors to find new readers.
Click on one of the links below and then subscribe, like, all that jazz. I love having new viewers and subscribers. Since my last newsletter, I’ve recorded the following:
Episode 55: Beast of Sorrows by James Watts
Episode 56: Pillowface by Kristopher Rufty
Written in Red
I’m also one of the co-hosts of the Written in Red podcast with Aron Beauregard, Daniel J. Volpe, and Rowland Bercy Jr. Due to personal matters, I wasn’t there for the episodes I’m linking to in this newsletter, but I’m still a part of the crew and try to make it to as many of the recordings as possible. Here are the episodes that have been recorded since my last newsletter:
I guess that’s about it for this issue. If you’re not already following me, make sure you’re hitting me up in all these places:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carver.pike.98/
Facebook Author Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/carverpikereadergroup
TikTok: @carverpike
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CarverPike
Instagram: @carverpike
Twitter: @carverpike
And please make sure you subscribe to this substack and share it with your friends.